Can You Make Energy for That?

Exploring energy, capacity and sustainable ways of living

3:30

"Yeah, sure, I can make time for that", "I can fit that in between going to the shop and meeting my friend". We can make time for things, but can we make energy for things? We can always move things around, squeeze extra things in, but what we can't do is magically create more energy. In Western culture, there is sometimes this pressure to go, go, go! Which may work for some people, but what about those of us for whom that isn't actually compatible? When living in a world that is constantly challenging, surrounded by societal pressures and expectations, it can be easy to be sucked into that idea. That you should take advantage of everything you're offered, or that you should be seeing friends weekly, or should be climbing the career ladder. But does that actually feel like you? Are you actually able to show up how you want to when pushed to your limit? There's so much more to life than just enduring.

What Does It Actually Cost You?

What if you slow down and reflect on your personal energy battery? Which environments, activities, people, sensory input, emotional stimuli drain your battery, and what helps to charge it? Sometimes we don't even know. For those who have masked for years, or have lived with chronic stress, it's common to lose connection with your body and its signals. This can make it difficult to notice when your system is overwhelmed, and what might help bring it back to a place of safety and functionality. And it's completely different for each of us. One person might have no issue with doing a load of clothes washing, followed by a dog walk, and later catch up with friends. Whereas, for someone else, that's a whole load of too much for one day, or even a week. Because if we actually zoom in on what's involved in a single task, let's say washing the dishes, that includes motivating yourself to start, transitioning away from whatever you were doing, deciding what needs doing first, touching all kinds of sensory-overwhelming stuff, tolerating smells and textures, standing for the duration of the task, and then putting everything away afterwards. That's actually an awful lot.

Your Energy Has Its Own Rhythm

Maybe there's some days when we are having a spike in energy and excitement, and we cram loads of amazing things into the day. But how are you feeling afterwards? And I'm not saying that's good or bad, it's just unique to each person. We all have our own rhythms, and reflecting on that can be enlightening and really useful. Because that can mean, "okay, I've got this really exciting event on Friday, so maybe I have a slow Thursday to prepare and don't plan anything for Saturday"- cushioning it, so that you can thrive and have a great time, without it completely wiping you out for days.

Your Capacity Is Not a Moral Failing

A strong feeling that can surface around this topic is shame. "I should be able to do this", "my colleague is handling this schedule fine, why can't I?", "maybe the more I do it, the easier it'll become", "I'm letting my friend down". That's an awful lot of heaviness to add, when it's actually just a practicality of how you function. We don't always have to attach a moral judgment to it. We wouldn't berate someone for struggling to run a marathon in the Sahara Desert, would we? Because of course they wouldn't be able to function at their best, or even at their normal rate, when contending with such challenging conditions. This is an important topic that is very relevant to neurodivergent people, but maybe something we aren't typically having conversations around, or looking at it on a deeper level. But maybe it's an area which we could meet with curiosity and understanding, rather than judgment or rejection. This can take time though, and that's okay.

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